A big part of wasting energy is not knowing how much you use, when, where or for what. Most keen energy wasters rely on their energy suppliers not read their meters for them, but here are some top tips for those who want to be proactively bad:
1. Make it difficult to get access, for example by installing meters at height, or leaving the keys to the meter room with an obnoxious jobsworth.
2. Try to have meters installed in positions where you cannot see their dials.
3. Never have a reliable check-reading taken by somebody who knows what they are doing.
4. Do not create a meter schedule; if you have one, don’t keep it up to date.
5. Do not try to find out what each meter serves.
6. If in doubt about units of measurement or scale multiplier factors, make whatever assumptions you like.
7. When a meter is swapped out, dispose of the old one without noting its final reading.
8. Do not train anybody to read meters.
9. Do not appoint stand-ins to cover for sickness or holiday absence.
10. Allow meter readers to be lax about when they take readings, and let them record the date they were supposed to take the readings rather than the actual date and time.
11. Allow meter readers to include or ignore decimal fractions as they feel inclined, if possible being inconsistent between visits to the same meter.
12. Rely on paper returns, and lose them.